"The future is not something you plan or decide, the future comes from an interplay of every thought you cherish, every habit you hold, and every conversation that you carry."

I read this week, in "Enlightenment for lazy people" by Paul Smit, how we can think of our human existence as "continuous energy in motion". 
Life never stops moving. Not even when we sleep. We think, breathe, feel, move, hear; our heart is beating and our blood flows. We have constant impressions, dreams, thoughts and impulses.

Thanks to our senses, we are also connected to energy that is moving 'outside' us: other people, nature, sounds, light, colours, art, the weather, music, conversations, ideas from others, digital stimuli and images. It can be so overwhelming! 
We are the sum of a continuous merging and mutual influencing of many types of forces and impressions, all kinds of internal impulses and external triggers. 
We are "shaped" by that constant complexity of energy in motion. Is it not mindblowing that we still believe we can focus in that maelstrom?

How can Solution Focus help us to cope with these constant changes and movements?
Solution Focus is a powerful way of thinking and interacting with ourselves and others, helping us to stay resilient. If we focus (in our thoughts and conversations) on what already works in our lives and on the "state of being" that we long for the most, then we will almost automatically move in this desired direction. Our mood and our state will infect others, making it easier for them to move with us in that direction, which in turn makes it lighter for us too. "En-lightenment" for lazy people! 

An example:
Before you start your day, sit on the edge of your bed and imagine that tonight, you will look back on your day with a happy feeling... and imagine in detail how you moved easily through your day, so you can sit back and feel very fulfilled in the evening...  You 'prime' yourself in the best possible way to “flow” with that day and everything you already know about that day. 
Even if that day offers certain challenges, you can still imagine what it would be like if you were to take on these challenges in the best possible way. When you are in the shower, you can install the good habit of focusing on everything that is going in the right direction of your desired situation, on everything that you are grateful and happy about. That too immediately creates more confidence and resilience.
 

The focus that "enlightens"
I notice that, thanks to a more Solution-Focused attitude, I have been able to gather people around me who make my life more pleasant, lighter and more fun. I have learned that by focusing my attention on what works for me in my life and connecting to thoughts of abundance, beauty, love, positivity and balance, they only increase. 
I have learned that I feel lighter when I practice gratitude for all the small and big moments of bliss, moments of connection and love or even setbacks that brought me insights.

What if everything is an illusion? 
According to Paul Smit, everything is an illusion, our whole existence, even our id.
Scientific studies suggest that the entire universe appears to be a hologram. 
I want to believe this idea, but my experience of life is real and solid; it hurts when I hit my head against the kitchen cabinet!  That is the life we have to deal with! And my Solution-Focused attitude helps me to make life a little easier.

Solution-Focus is not the same as problem-phobic.
Those who know me well, know that I can be quite critical, sad or distracted. My darker feelings like anger, irritation, boredom, impatience can show up in full force. Yet it helps me to accept and embrace them, even welcome them in all their fullness and misery from a neutral and peaceful place. I have learned not to condemn these dark feelings, to stop them or to supplant them. Anger and grief are part of our human experience and there are harmless ways to express them, to let them flow and ebb into the river of life. In the meantime we can remain true to ourselves and to an equally human endeavor to do better every time and to continue to take responsibility.

It is still a fascinating journey and I like to keep searching... in conversations, in my thoughts, on paper, in a challenging yoga posture, in my breath and in my dreams.

Yoga as support
Solution Focus is a compass that helps me. Yoga challenges me to experience and  train resilience in a very physical way, deep in my tissue and bones. In yoga I discover the borders, the discomfort, the feelings and thoughts that arise in a posture, yet I continue to breathe and relax with them. 
Yoga and Solution Focus is a wonderful combination that I want to explore further and share; share with people who want to search and experiment together, who love nature and would like to gift themselves the time to explore this combination.

If this is you, Petra Müller Demary and I invite you to our Retreat, from the 28th of September to the 3rd of October 2018 in the Akasha retreat center in the beautiful mountains of Transylvania. 

Liselotte Baeijaert